You're only the seventh guy she's ever kissed. Somesones gunna get EPICALLY stalked
when a 14 year old is judging you, you know you've had too much to drink
i found him! he's on the front porch using a bag of potting soil as a pillow. i forgot i left him there.
Also: how drunk is your brother? He just left me a message as batman.
Most men with as many freckles as you aren't vagina magnets. You are an exception to your kind.
IM DRINK YORE HIFH WE ARE POSTERCHOLD OF AMERICA
Laying on a pile of just out of the dryer clothes because this is NOT real life.
although steph and I had 3 bottles of wine by that point and watched an opera that featured a black dildo so anything was possible really
That sounds promising. I'm twerking to human nature.
He showed up at my apartment drunk with a telescope wanting me to look at the "blown up star" in -24 degree weather, claiming "it's in the name if science"
would it be uncouth to smoke a joint during office hours
This is why you're my favorite TA
Do you know how hard it is to put a bandaid on a vagina?
Saw a thong on the yellow lines of the street when I left this morning, are they yours by any chance?
they were drunk. and loud. and now they're drunk and quiet. or dead, you never know.
Apparently I was carrying around a bottle of listerine calling it 5 loco
Randomize
