The walk of shame is slightly more complicated when you wake up in the wrong country...
She asked the class if starwars was based on a true story...
he was wearing a tuxedo, i was naked...it's a long story.
We waited til after. Not even drunk sex felt right during a Disney movie.
i have a surprise for you that looks bigger since I found my body hair trimmer
i just remember sitting on this bed, naked, STILL WITH A CONDOM ON, and suddenly these random girls were in the room shouting at me
The last thing I remember is trying to split my bridesmaid dress down the back like the incredible hulk.
and you succeeded.
I want to break up with him.....but he has a george forman grill...like I need that
No, absolutely not. If you see that cunt, throw confetti or eggs at her.
That's a pretty extreme jump from confetti to eggs
Well I can't message him and be like "hey I was behind you in CVS a month ago and I remembered your last name and DOB and looked you up on fb and added you so wanna hang out"
I dealt with the imported moonshine, but when the cocaine came out, I had to get the fuck out of there
Any story that involves the words "bloody hand job" and/or "sliced penis" is bound to be a good one, right?
hell or highwater he WILL get a blowjob in the hammock before the end of summer.
THEY DIDN'T THROW MY PORN AWAY!!!!
I slept like a rock because of your dick. I'll thank him personally later.
Randomize
