jusi got death stares at taco bell because I asked if Denise was working.
I just had one of those moments where i was really sad that i'll never get to be asian.
i just opened up my bathroom cabinet to get deodorant and found 4 bottles of natty. Its like the world wants me to miss this interview
We decided to have a girls night of four lokos, three of us cried and the other puked
She didn't even ask about the dinosaur pinata in my trunk. Like at this point I think these are the things she expects from me
Mym mom just came downstairs as I got ghome ans I'm trying to act SO CASUAL as i stabdh here hut icant help bur be like 'girl where's ther Turkey sandwiche s' haahaa
I literally need you to talke care of me soooo9o9oooooo drubj gril makin a sabdwiche. SO far its judst bred and paper towel...
She's an honest to god fucking ballerina. She did things I don't have names for.
The last thing I remember is teaching our waffle house waitress to do the stanky leg and promising the grill cook we would come see him at his other job.
Man...I want to get monumentally fucked tonight.
I sat on my couch last night watching What Women Want, eating ice cream, and sobbing "why doesn't she like me?" Why was I born a man?
I thought I was heading girls talk. It was the toilet. Like put my ear to it
Wrong. I really wanted to see the movie. And she was on top of me like she was riding a mechanical bull. Who am I to complain? I live to serve.
A woman with Alzheimer's pointed at me and said, "Don't forget to wear socks, because you're a lady!" I think it's legit advice.
i can't even hate his new girlfriend cuz she survived a fucking brain tumor. like that's just not fair.
Wound up hungover. Visiting 4 y/o nephew suggested cookies and milk and playing Kirby with him with the sound down. This kid is going places.
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