Yeah but his hole really smells sometimes
we used that portable toilet as a cooler to keep coronas. next person who tells me hospitals arn't fun needs to come party in rm 180.
How would you go about getting a hold of the country star that you slept with and are now potentially pregnant with their baby...?
myspace Music?
the guy i hooked up with is asleep on our couch. please dont fuck him.
I can hear my fat mexican neighbor yelling "do you like that!" ...I hope its not his dog
ah, there's nothing like waking up to picture messages of a strange man's cock. life is good.
haha, that's fucked up. flacid cock pictures are the mental breakfast of champions.
she was stuffing dove chocolates in my mouth while giving me a blow job. GOD I LOVE VALENTINES DAY
I took it to a new level. I'm procrastinating taking my adderall. Hate finals week.
Dude she said she'd let me snort a line off her ass now I just have to wait for them to break up
We got banned from that Whataburger for life. WHATABURGER. Which is saying something. They deal with drunk dumbasses every night.
Tequila happens.
The difference in our lives is summed up perfectly in that you woke up next to a 6'4" guy with an accent and I woke up next to an unwrapped piece of string cheese.
Idk what y'all are doing but I just want you to know I'm home and if I hear him say "slap it" one more time I'm moving out
I suggest both. Please have sex with them and prepare notes for a final comparison.
Realization: many of my behaviors would lead to me being stoned to death in a lot of foreign countries. God bless America.
Sunburned by dick at the nude beach. Bad. She tried to blow me. But. I. Just. Can't. Saddest day of my life.
Randomize
