the thought of Anne Coulter teabagging Dick Cheney kills me everytime.
So does your leg always twitch violently when someone plays with your clitoris? Or has my ten years of piano playing finally paid off?
Can you really blame Steve Phillips? He went to Michigan. Plowing fat girls is a 100-level course there.
My mom is such a hoarder. I found a deer candelabrum last night, it had antlers has candle holders. It was like a redneck menorah.
I told her the maid must have stolen all my condoms. She bought it
I mean I knew we were putting on quite a show but I didnt realize HOW good until I woke up and 4 people were passed out with their ears to the bedroom door.
You pulled down your pants, pissed in the recliner, and wiped yourself with my utility bill. I thought it was in the worlds best interest to put you to bed.
I generally just try to vote by which candidate I think has the bigger dick. Sorry Romney.
Don't act like you're not jealous that I disappeared into the closet to blow my husband. Marriage = all the cock I want.
But I've also made plans to crash a black tie event wearing a storm trooper helmet. I think I've found the love of my life..
Good, I would never sleep with your boyfriend , or send you an edible arangment
He said did you just interrupt me midsentence to admire another man's penis?
Remind me to tell you the story of the fuzzy condom
Just so you know sleeping with you is like skydiving commando in a flightsuit made of kittens
That's the most romantic thing I've ever heard
oh and i figured out why we kept smelling vomit. ive got vomit on my socks. putting the heater on my feet was not the best of ideas.
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