I love sluts.
I end my prayers with that every single night.
I had never watched a guy jack off to me before, but let me tell you, it was a very uncomfortable experience.
i woke up with "only hugh can prevent florist friars" written up my arm ... i need to know what we did last night
Why do you have to go to the hospital?
I gotta apologize to a male nurse who's tryin to press assault charges on me
The only reason I'd ever want a boyfriend is so that someone would spoon feed me applesauce when I'm so hungover I can't move
I'm just gonna wear a long dress with no panties today. My pussy needs a break.
I gave the bathroom attendant $5 last night for turning the sink on for me. What. The. Fuck.
Spent the majority of my senior year drunk. Graduate of 2011, I think 2011. Probably.
Why do I have a wristband from the birthing center at the University of Maryland hospital....
Would I be a horrible mom if I got a babysitter at 6am so I could go get laid.
One more sleep until playoffs, Canucks are back this year, you bet your ass I'm going to uphold the tradition of being the 90 lb girl that fights every hairy ass Bruins fan at BWW.
Awww I'm so proud! Starting friendships before you hook up!
When I told the bartender it was my 21st birthday, he looked at me all pissed and said "But you've been drinking here as 21 for the past 2 years.." How do you THINK the night went?
So I take it free shots were a no after that?
Like my mom really needs to know just how non existent my sex life is
You do realize last night you asked me if shampoo had an expiration date then cried for 15 mins when I told you it did
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