Alex texted me. Bootycall boy #2. its like an alarm goes off once i'm single that the line is open again
It only happened twice. Once we used extra virgin olive oil and once I used saliva and brute force.
S and I had anal without a condom because I'm on my rag but he didn't finish. Should I still take Plan B?
I just claimed my unemployment in Vegas. This seems wrong.
We're playing fucking games. GAMES. THIS IS BULL SHIT. IM GOING TO THROW UP ON THE BABIES AND LEAVE.
It's a long way off yet but I've started planning my eviction party. Be prepared, it includes jungle juice.
I just saw a group of 50+ year old women all wearing shirts that said "drink up, bitches" ...please tell me that can be us some day.
Guess who won a bet and gets to name it Optimus prime if it's a boy
Nevermind. Totally worth it.
Its fiiine, tuesday is like the thursday of wine wednesday. And i mean, free beer for girls at the grove...im not NOT gonna take that offer up!
Look at your life. Look at your choices.
Nm. Exausted and my teeth just fell out again
He got hit with a horseshoe, set on fire, fell out of a tree, and puked all over the side of his car, all before midnight. Everclear.
She's been drunk for three days now
Like three straight days. 72 hours
She's been covered in glitter for the last two and somehow she found a monkey
I can't put those talents on a resume
Now that mom and dad sold the camper, do you think it's okay to talk about all the sex I had in it?
Do you ever wake up and realize playing beer pong with your parents wasnt a dream? Your mom really beat you
Randomize
