I wanna fuck padma even more now that she's preggers. Is that sick?
Yes but- 100% agreed
do you think the kids from 7th heaven are mad that dennis and sweet dee are their half-brother and sister?
you grabbed the waitors dick and yelled '2nd base' and then he gave you his number. I hate your life.
He like walks around to open car doors for me. Has already held my hair while I barf and still likes me. What. Is. Happening.
Alright, I can go by eventually,, I don't wanna lose a second pair of shoes this semster from blacking out...
I have no idea. I think this is what happens when people take drugs in the middle of the day
We had a pillow fight. It looks like an angel exploded here. A DRUNK ALCOHOLIC ANGEL
Thanks for the viagra you gave me last night. I ended up getting called in to work to cover a shift. So I had to tell Kayla that I couldn't hang out and I had to try and hide my dick all night while walking serving people food all night.
I asked him if we could hang out sometime when we weren't hammered. He said he'd email me his number... that's when I knew I was going to die alone
It doesn't feel like real life when you open your hotel room door and the first person you see is wearing a rabbit costume. I'm too hungover for this.
you bleached my bangs. i have an interview later today and you assholes bleached my bangs.
Hope you are okay. You were running down the street with shopping cart at one point and yelling "bitches aint shit!"
We ended the night eating peanutbutter with our hands and smoking cigarettes in the house at 4am. Fucking Everclear, man.
Get over your kidney infection all ready. You have been sober for too long.
Don’t be alarmed my pee bowl is in your shower
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