cruising supermarkets, asking random people where i can get weed. fuck alaska
today he pulled me aside to show me a lawn mower that he drew above his pubes. I saw his pubes in all their glory. Right there. In spanish class. Hola.
I'm proud of our boobs and what they could potentially achieve in life.
Getting blown during the Cavs game doesn't make it any less depressing.
i screwed him while his gf was puking in the shower. 2011 is looking up already
There was blood everywhere. She was pretty good looking person though.
How many times do I have to drunk reject you for our friendship to become awkward? Cause were at 9 as of last night
It's not meant to be. I also just shot a turkey baster of gin into Nate's eye, so....
No one parties like Jon. He once stole a cops hat, ran like the wind, partied all night with it, and dropped it off at the station the next day with a box of donuts as an appology.
It's after midnight. I didn't find the answer to my problem, but I did find the bottom of a bottle of vodka, so... there's that.
So I can officially say that someone has licked whipped cream off my nipples. Go senior year
You think I'll get the "I used to stick it to your daughter" discount?
I'm shopping for Mother's Day cards while waiting for my herpes medication. What is life.
I woke up spooning with two strangers on Saturday morning... I felt like a sexual sandwich
How do I stop your cat from bathing me? I'm afraid she'll get drunk off my sweat
Randomize
