What are you talking about? And how drunk are you?
Both
Walk of Shame. In a state park.
her dad's the mattress king, she's genetically engineered to be good in bed
I knew it was gonna be weird when she opened the condom with scissors
To this day, he introduces me as "the girl I met climbing trees at 3 A.M."
I am assuming I was his dirty Mardi Gras mistake and I can live with that
Beer Popsicles are better in theory
Also I spent like 2 hours on the hubble/nasa website sunday night looking at pictures of outer space and cried my face off at how beautiful and complex it is. What's wrong with me?!
By "met a doctor" I really mean "fucked a pre med student"
for me, it's working out the tricky timing of the Viagra and nightly laxative.
We kind of broke a table making out. So yes, I'd say it was successful.
I'll get tired halfway through and end up passed out at a taco shack honestly
You may be fancy. But you'll never be having cheesy garlic bread and scotch at 3am fancy.
My sister just poured me a dbl Ciroc on the rocks and said "the ice makes it festive." Honestly what a role model.
Update: I spent 10 minutes trying to fish out a rogue vagina weight.
Randomize
