pretty sure that I broke my nose during sexting. Life is grand.
In Canada she would be a 10 but here in America she's only a 7
we're at Rob's house and just invented the best drinking game ever....we are on Chatroulette and everytime we see a dick we all have to drink.
Well you broke that rule when you put it in your mouth.
She came over and gave me a handy and then just lingered for a day and a half. Worst weekend ever.
My near death experience also doubled as my coming out story
they all just nodded
they still hired me even though my background check came back with a warrent for my arrest.
You need a Jiminy Cricket, but for sexual decisions.
I feel like god wrote up a contract of my life, and i just signed off on that shit without reading the fine print.
I'm in charge of his party but you're a paramedic, we're both needed.
On one hand it was kinda weird his girlfriends stuff was at his apartment. On the other hand it was kinda nice because she had great shampoo
Yeah I ended up covered in the mud by the end, in a lady bug golf cart that was blasting jazz music with a dead phone
Just scratched my head and I basically rained glitter.
this is gentle reminder #1 not to forget to bring the vibrator when you come
If sleeping with your boss doesnt scream job security i dont know what does.
Randomize
