But, the reference to being horny and then blending a banana is troubling
Turns out you can't chew it over with twix in real life
Dude I've never seen anyone get slapped that hard
thanks for brining me home and putting me in my bed. the pillow fort your built around me is also appreciated.
Hey. I found $5 in quarters from one of those state quarter collection books. I'm using it for food tomorrow.
Tell me why I'm at Target and this entire Spanish family is crowding around the condoms questioning which ones they should get
the night got glorious when you tried to do an upside down keg stand with a near empty key and dropped it on your face
I just found my "random bang list for summer of 2012" that I wrote last night.. It's written on a Plan B receipt. If this isn't irony I don't know what is.
who's job is it to make sure we don't run out of tp since the incident of 09'... Thats right you go get some
I faked more orgasms with him then ever should be allowed for someone this pretty.
Clothes make me feel like a responsible adult and that's just not something I'm ready to handle.
I just had a guy ask me if his "jewelry downstairs" would set off the metal detector.
He offered me free drinks all night if I could beat him in a drinking race. I blacked out after that but just found his credit card in my bra so there's that.
random boy in my bed. last night wasnt a dream. fuck.
I mean, I was going to use them for a beading project, but I guess I could take one and let you bat my dick around like a cat toy.
you can't just call dibs on my vagina bro.
Randomize
