I slayed a troll last night at BC guess i thought i was back in college
If Bret Micheals dies..will VH1 have to go off the air?
Just saw a motorized bathtub. I think this college thing is gonna work out.
No big deal, we were just two friends having sex. It's perfectly normal we don't remember. Water under the sex bridge,
I just celebrated my ex boyfriends birthday by having more sex than he will today.
Morning yack off the fire escape. Girl walking by was mortified. Gooooooooo Ducks!!
I want to be you.
You made out with a guy who refers to his cock as "rafiki." Are you proud of yourself?
Everyone here knows my boyfriend as "Half Baked". Life, he's doing it right.
Yeah. I mean it wasn't that awkward. I just made conversation like there was absolutely no lack of pants.
Apparently I taped knives to my hands and made everyone call me wolverine
I finally figured out how to tighten my bra straps and I feel like a god
I'm looking for whatever I can find, and afford without having to eat my emotional support cat
I should buy myself lingerie for Valentine’s Day instead of a present for you because I am the present
dude kate found out i cheated and busted in while i was taking a shit. I was cornered, nothing i could do
so drinking tonight?
Be there in 15
The last time we went to a costume party, you walked around in a loincloth with a cross and said you were Jesus. I'm eager to see how much more offensive you can be.
Randomize
