Happy Easter!!!
I'm an idiot
Note to self: Not getting laid all weekend makes girls in mondays classes racks seem enormously bigger.
He says he's "masters drunk." And if that's anything like "kentucky derby drunk" I know enough to not go over there.
hes like the used car salesman of hook ups and closed the deal w my taking him home with me,as is,today
It's like I'm in a vicious cycle of noncommittal penis.
Slipping me an edible before my ochem final was not your brightest idea. Looks like I'm switching to business.
Tomorrow's thirsty thursday is now sponsored by the three time champion, chemisty failure. celebration starts asap.
If anyone ask I'm rushing for brotherhood, not so that this bartender will suck my dick
Having my alarm go off at 3:30 makes me wanna rip my dick off and shove it through my eye socket
You were naked with a chalice of Skittles vodka, singing along to Les Miserables.
How about we just fuck in random places all around campus, and skip the boring relationship part?
Made my roommate send me tit pics so I could send them to someone because I didn't want to move.
I'm more of a "get high and take a bath" kinda guy.
Instead of saying hi she asked if she could touch your dick through your ski bib and NOW I understand why you wore it to the bars
I call bullshit
Call it what ever you want I just need to figure out how to get permanent marker off my cock
Randomize
