honestly, magaritas are the void men can't fill.
I spent all day at the mall with her, then she made me actually watch a walk to remember then decided to tell me she was on her period. This one is either really crafty or I am really desperate.
how many days can you live off of Vicodin and frosty?? im going on 4 days......
did u get his digits?
yes his name is chazbangbangbang according to my phone...
Just made a photo collage of the girls I've hooked up with this summer. I'm patting myself on my back right now
Got a stripper to howl at my wolf shirt.
Seriously I will never run in my wedges while drinking racing home to have sex ever again
I just asked her to come in through the window, this pretty much solidifies the whole fuck-buddy thing...
It's fine. I wouldn't trust either of them to be my workplace drug buddy.
He yelled "CARLI LLOYD" and then kicked the cake off the table. Soccer is making monsters out of us.
I met her parents last night. Her dad smelled like weed and kept yelling "I HAVE ALLERGIES AHHH MY EYES ARE BURNING!" During dinner It had to be good weed he didn't even know he was yelling.
Nothing like being naked and confused and clutching a scented candle...at least I woke up in my own bed though.
Nothing ruins an orgasm faster than accidentally calling out his boss's name
HAMMERED.. I made a peanut butter and jelly sandwich with toilet paper instead of bread...
The day will come again young grasshopper. For now you must complete your training of patience and tongue biting
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