pshh wine cellars. now if he has a tequila cellar whole different story
I'm outside your house...sorry I feel like I don't need formal invites anymore.
We were driving to yogurt express by state and these girls mooned is while they passed us and we saw full vag complete with tampon string dangling.
My drug dealer asked me out. What's the protocal for this?
it got awkward when she realized that our nickname for her was "The Hambeast"
if the best thing you can say about him is "he probably wont kill me" you may want to rethink hanging out with him
You were screaming across the bar "BUYING US SHOTS ISN'T GOING TO MAKE US STRAIGHT, YA KNOW!!!!!!!!"
I may puke in class so I'm excited to see how that goes
Annnnd I didn't even notice there is a guy dancing in a jock strap beside me. That explains girls smiling at me
Someone took a shit in the house somewhere and I STILL can't find it. I'm just going to move.
her fuck buddy was butt ass naked in our kitchen making waffles but they tasted so bomb
it's like my ID runs away from me when it knows it's time for me to drink
He said 'I really struggle with the sin of lust' then we proceeded to have sex. So I guess it was a perfectly executed Catholic pick up line?
I got wing sauce on the baby and licked it off. If you were wondering how I'm doing.
Apparently I have a "problem" because I enjoy doing bong rips in the shower
Randomize
