New plan, instead of sleeping with her, I'm just going to use her to sleep with the entire sorority.
Don't be a smartass. I'm trying to fuck a guy who's sober. It's more difficult than you think.
been home a week and haven't blacked out yet. i miss college
His dick might not be the answer to my problems, but I'm definitely ok with testing it as a possible solution.
I really like her...she always overpays me for xanax and still feels the need to fuck me to make up for it....
I cNt phones. tingles in my fingles. jingles
My mouth taste like pussy and my dad noticed. Hahahaha
By 11 pm the pants were off and there was no turning back. But on the bright side, you promised me your CDs when you died, you even signed a napkin saying so.
Can we fangirl? Can we have fangirl Tuesdays?
Sure lol what's that?
Oh, dear, sweet Laura. Please start singing A Whole New World. I have Aladdin's part, you're Jasmine.
Why?
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My boss followed me on Twitter. Excuse me while I delete 90% of my tweets
The best part about daylight savings time this weekend is we get an extra hour to be fucked up.
The difference in our lives is summed up perfectly in that you woke up next to a 6'4" guy with an accent and I woke up next to an unwrapped piece of string cheese.
Got 3360 Shoppers points for buying Plan B. I guess this all worked out for the best.
Idk if you own a vibrator or anything but it's not smart to leave it in dad's car for him to find :/
Baby Shark came on during sex.
She has BABY SHARK on her sex playlist. Who does that?
Randomize
