Afterall, it is the real San Francisco treat
I can hear my fat mexican neighbor yelling "do you like that!" ...I hope its not his dog
I wish there were college classes that were useful to your daily life, like how to pack a proper bowl in pitch black darkness.
think they'd let him outta jail for my wedding? we could have him back by like midnight....
I don't know at which point last night turned terribly, terribly wrong, but it was somewhere around Motel 6, specifically the parking lot.
Casually brushing the Bacardi out of my hair. It's a good time to ponder regretting everything that happened last night.
Are you stuck outside of your house because you forgot to walk up stairs? Cuz I've been there.
Today was my cousin's Kindergarten graduation. I happen to also think of it as a MILF convention.
"Do You Wanna Build a Snowman" came on while I was riding his dick. I had to take a moment.
Called Apple, my penis pics are safe.
Also I told several people at the bar last night that my dad the alligator wrestler died wrestling an alligator. So if anyone asks that's real.
hey u leave my anime porn out of this
She woke up with her hand super glued to the fridge....how the hell am I Supposed to get her off??
Dude you were so wasted you thought a fake electric candle was real and tried to light your cig with it. Multiple times.
I just put together something from IKEA so that’s mandatory oral for a week.
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