Have you ever looked at the 750mL bottle of wine on the seat next to you knowing that it's just not going to be enough?
Each and every day.
he just told me he'd rather go to the pirates game. i know it was desperate but i said id give him roadhead if he let me come along.
I feel like I had a lobotomy last night. I blacked out. Did we try to stick my Penis in a beer bottle?
Not to make her into that kind of girl, but she did have a condom mural
She made me go down the fire escape when her mom came for breakfast.
i don't care if its just a preseason game, my pick up a guy and suck him off in the bathroom skills are in midseason form
LET US USE OUR GENITALS TO CELEBRATE THIS VICTORY
We had an in depth conversion about the best way to take a dick pic. Both with and without mirrors.
I don't have the resources to adequately explain this. I need like a Powerpoint presentation and also Vodka.
Just sitting at dinner with my dad...simultaneously texting "daddy" to confirm saturday's spanking and telling another guy to get condoms before Im done with dinner. Don't know when I got so ate up but I'm loving it. You?
Regretting asking you what you were doing.
No it's a real cult, with original ideas and shit like that
Lo siento on account of my penis...
I just opened a beer with a child's toy at a 5 year olds birthday....can you look up the next AA meeting?!!
Alcohol and I aren't friends right now.
it was weird i started the party in just my underwear and woke up in my clothes
Randomize
