so... my grandma just told me i should be a stripper
well at least shes not calling you fat anymore
I just named my vagina "The Boneyard"
More like "Chia Pet"
i just used a pokemon card to do blow. i need an adult. now.
My landlord wasn't pleased about the new fire pit we built him.
Smoked a blunt with a girl i met at the bus stop today. What you did today is irrelevant
Be proud. You give fat lesbians everywhere shower-nozzle worthy material for weeks on end.
The cop let me finish my J before he cuffed me. Coolest arresting officer ever.
2 men making out for 2 seconds to trick a cop so they don't get arrested for being pulled over rolling a blunt is not gay.
MILK DIDN'T HELP. IT'S NOT HELPING
Like your dick isn't Beyoncé, it doesn't get close ups
As a rule...I don't sleep with my friends or watch movies with talking dogs
Idk. The bad part of me thinks it's a good idea. The bad part is also the stupid part.
? I'm just sitting watching something borrowed alone, crying in my boxers , feel like I should probably do something
I can’t believe I made out with a flat earther and didn’t know about it until now!
he's such a nice guy...he deserves a bigger dick.
Randomize
