she looks like luggage that fell from a plane
Classy? Dude, she fucked 3 guys as part of a scavenger hunt
And?
The dentist just giggled when he accidentally shot water across my face, I can sense how he treats women.
i'm moving back early just in case the freshmen need a tour of the school
oh right the one that ends on your bed
Seriously he's so hot. And it's so hard to flirt with a deaf guy
I THINK I JUST JOINED A GANG. PLEASE PICK ME UP.
I know it I should, but it's kinda nice. It's smells like unbridled enthusiasm and copious amounts of melt your face off sex.
FYI your bra is now hanging in the hallway as a trophy.
hand jobs are a waste of time that only lead to arm cramps. Also, where do you look...his eyes, at the penis, at the tv?
yeah the "where to look" question is super awkward
I mean, I already put pants on today. We're already halfway there
I think John will remember that birthday for a while. I'm still dying at the fact a stripper was hunting me down.
Lol I wish they went straight to your cock then shot out into my mouth like a cock nacho dispenser
I never thought my selfie stick would come in handy for nudes.
fuck emotions I should've gotten more cats
The whole country is going to hell in a handbasket but I got a grade A fucking and don't particularly care.
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