Blackberries need to come with a feature that disables texting to certain numbers after 2am based on content. liek disabling texting to 'dad' containng the words 'lets try to find more blow.'
i think the sales of Rosetta Stone are directly related to the size of that woman's tit's
It says i should accept HIV aids as my friend on facebook.We have 12 friends in common. I need new friends.
hey sry I lost all my numbers who is this?
pat the guy you slept with
still need a last name
i lost virginity while listening to candy shop. something in my life has finally gone right.
I asked her if she wanted to make this a permanent exclusive thing instead of a fuck buddy thing, and she just looked at me like I'm an idiot.
That's because you are an idiot.
Ate apple sauce off his penis. Nutritious and slutty.
On the plus side this hangover is the tipping point that finally convinced my lazy ass to get some sunglasses.
Just thought to myself "I should practice shotgunning a beer before Wednesday." I don't think my GPA is going to like this semester.
Couldn't find any balloons, so we're doing whippets out of condoms. Being a ho has its benefits.
hot buttered vodka was not a success. on any level.
its like i had a thought but i dont know what the words are for it
I've been smoking weed using candles all week and I just found a lighter. This may truly be the happiest moment of my life. It's embarrassing how excited I got
Just sold our expired ticket for a free night of bowling to a drunk guy downtown for 50 bucks. Ill buy beer on my way home
I’m going down on him like an Oompah Loompah on roller skates.
That makes no sense, but good luck
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