Dude that chick had her name tattooed in Japanese characters between her b-cups. I kept calling her Toyota.
I mean, he's dancing back and forth between pathetically sad and massively fucking creepy.
guess who just got paired up at the beer pong table with the fat girl who's nipples are hanging out...
Would it be too much if i wore depends to new moon so i dont miss any of it?
in the bathroom helping her wash cum out her eye. pretty much explains my sex life
No. No, there is no forgiveness for this. The only way I'm forgiving you for this is if you somehow convince your sister to have sex with me. In her car.
you started putting condoms on anything with a point, then you were yelling at the lamp for using your last condom...
Just used "I used to work as an inflatable toy operator" as a pick up line. Freshman frenzy is great...
Is it cheating if its a threesome? This is more like a party game than infidelity.
Just saw a midget on an elliptical. Epic.
We learned many a lesson today about drug use in canoes
I don't know. I just have an affinity for nudity when I'm drunk.
How the hell am I supposed to tell that to a group of eight year olds?! It was three in the afternoon for fucks sake!
I put on a tiger onsie to initiate sex... It worked
my Mom is now my Eskimo sister... she fucked my ex in my bed and took a selfie
she bought my drinks all night, made me breakfast in the morning, and let me use her expensive hair products before i left. best one night stand ever.
Randomize
