i just went dwnstairs and there are 5 guys without their shirts on hugging each other. i think i should leave now
just got cropdusted by the delivery guy...this was not in my job description.
It usually only happens when Im really excited. Normally not that fast. You still enjoy it?
haha you were so trashed that you deleted all of your christian music from itunes and kept saying"c-ya God, nice knowin ya"
I threw up into my coffee this morning.
are you excited because you wanna see me or because you wanna get laid?
bc i get to see you. naked.
You unbuttoned your shirt and started walking down the center of the road screaming traffic stops for Enrique Iglesias.
Bering your kids um. Abiout tol. Throw up
I just sneezed and it made my entire body ache. Hungover is an understatement
He is just a personification of a vodka hangover.
Yes. Sex with questionable women, and made of potatoes.
So hungover. Have a black eye from where I tried to brush my teeth and stabbed myself in the eye instead. Should make the performance review I was stress drinking about go so much better.
You've thrown off my entire schedule. Usually SATURDAYS are my "try to hide the jizz on my leggings" days
I woke up and found a stick of butter in my pocket. There's no butter in the house so I don't know who's it is. Using it to make cookies.
I woke up naked in her room. More precisely, I woke up naked in her room with her and her sister laughing at my penis. I hate my life.
I had a good weekend too...although I cried about the dog in a drunken stupor last night...not one of my finest moments, but it's all water under the bridge.
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