Last night was an abortion. I might need a publicist.
she read insantiy as in-nast-tit-ty and asked what the hell does that mean...
If im paying 4grand for laser eye surgery, it better help with beer goggles cuz last night was pretty rough.
high as fuck. watching parent trap with my mom. keep missing my mouth.
YOU STOLE THE WEDDING CAKE?!?!
Only one tier
Tastes like cardboard anyway
But in the grand scheme of things, "should i bang a hot roommate or a sexy giant" is really not a bad lot in life
How many stacks you been grindin gangsta?
omg mom no
It's so blood brotha crip what be good
My plan to masturbate 34 times on my 34th birthday backfired. Do you still have those crutches?
There should be a rule.......that if you have a small penis you must wear a hat with propellers on it so you can fly the hell off the planet.
Is it just me or does the sex still keep getting better? I wasn't crying, my eyes just watered from how hard I was cumming.
The other day I was really high and I felt like my words were coming out of my mouth in flowers...I don't know.
thank you for being a reason not to completely check out of my life and start sleeping all day, crying all night, and living off vodka acquired through credit card debt
You slept on a pillow of digiorno
I was so close to going to get my nipples pierced with my mom today
So um... You probably shouldn't post that picture of me and your crotch just because that's a new level of raunchiness that I'm not willing to accept yet
Randomize
