we should become lesbians. not together. just in general.
this is no time to have dignity 4/20 is coming
Leaving the dealer's house. He just gave me a sincere hug and said good luck. This cant end well.
I just drank til 6am then boned a 32 yr old that looks exactly like ET. Oh god.
Sometimes you just need a break, and sometimes you also need to get stoned on these breaks. I sound like some kind of fucked up mr rogers when I say shit like that.
New bet. First person to fuck their girlfriend and narrate the whole thing in Morgan freemans voice wins. You are disqualified if she asks you about. My girlfriend is on her rag. U have the headstart. Your move...
Turns out puking in your mask makes it even harder to see out of the mask..
I hope you enjoy this collage I made of you and me getting fucked up together
I just threw up in my front yard because my roommate was in the bathroom. Fuck New Years Day.
Bake him heart shaped cookies?!? Send him a picture of your tits like an ADULT!
That tingly feeling you're experiencing in your lady parts is my mustache. All the ladies of America are waking up feeling the same thing. You're welcome.
So i stood up out of the sunroof while he gave me oral. Car was still moving. Exactly how illegal is that?
I woke up and my pants were in the kitchen but my shoes were next to my bed. Do the math...
So you're saying that I ended up challenging a dude to Uno then proceed to punch them in the face?
At 10 PM you were shit faced in the kitchen makin nachos... Naked. I wasn't sure what to do besides walk away...
Randomize
