Okay, I have a threesome with foreigners and suddenly I'm a man-whore
i have a surprise for you that looks bigger since I found my body hair trimmer
Some guy just stopped me in the bar and asked if I had a shot named after me at another bar called God damn my VaJana hurts? He already knew my name was Jana so I couldn't deny it!
Still borderline I believe. As bad as this sounds, I feel God owes me one here and should not let his grandmother die till after my birthday
I always forget that visiting my hometown is like a who's who of ugly people.
I petted my head, told my hair it felt beautiful and needed to be let free. Then pulled out my pony tail. Cheers to weed. I lose.
I went in the closet and cried, then the bathroom and cried, and lastly he showed me his penis and I cried. It was a weird night.
Well, I washed his beard with dish soap and then I fucked him three times.
I dont have to work tomorrow im yelling gibberish at squirrels
ANNA YOU PEED ON THE STREET. LIKE NOT EVEN SUBTLY. YA JUST SQUATTED IN THE MIDDLE OF THE HIGHWAY. And you flashed your tits to oncoming vehicles to try to get them to pick us up
But did u die
I found an onion in my purse
Just had to break it to that one guy that I can't sleep w him bc he looks identical to my brother. So how's your morning?
Im blaming it on six shots of Jack, loneliness and a chemical imbalance. That's the best I can think of...
You planned on giving him head in the shower?
More like I just fell and it seemed like a good idea when I was down there
Puked up breakfast after doing my first minze shot in a while, but that shot was to Trump losing the election, so it's all good.
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