Omg! Love it! Cant find L*****
What!!?? Like after last night you lost her?
Yea me and L***** came back to out hotel at 3am to regroup then went back out; police and 2 bars later, I don't know what happened. Vegas is nuts!
So now everyone thinks I don't know what a condom is
Dude I'm telling you, conditioner is the best for jerking it in the shower. It feels great and afterwards everything is all smooth
and parents always said I was only motivated by money. Pfft they forgot vodka.
In an effort to go green, I just used rainwater to fill my bong.
and now I know what throwing up pineapple chunks is like.
Yeah, we had those soaking in vodka for like 36 hours
outstanding.
I just got a facebook invite to join a group called "bring back the old franzia spout." i never want our generation to grow up.
i make up for being a shitty girlfriend by being amazing in bed.
i finally watched harry potter... a tad unrealistic if you ask me... i mean a ginger kid with 2 friends?
I am currently google image searching dick piercings, trying to see what I'm getting myself into.
Maybe you shouldn't go to cosmic bowling, i don't know if cum glows and I don't wanna find out i'm sure his parents don't either.
I drank toilet water last night, I can't answer you because my phone is in rice.
Serious concern: will TSA confiscate my bondage rope?
My roommate just threatened to kill me with my own pan. Can I ever get away from the crazies?!
Tell me why i have 60 matches in 72 hours on tinder. Can i sell my tinder account like people used to sell their myspace pages and tumblrs when they had a lot of followers? Is that a thing?
Randomize
