I'm fucking your sister right now.
You motherfucker
She's next.
Whoa! I think of you when I eat cottage cheese.
I just woke up. In the port-o-potty next to our tailgate. an hour after the game started. explain.
He kept starring at my ass and repeating "Its Just a beautiful piece of artwork."
I'd like to personally thank you for not letting anyone puke in any of the salad bowls this time
James and whatshisface bought me drunks. I am drinks.
maybe almost giving yourself a concussion counter acts a hangover
so some random man just messaged me on facebook "tig ol bitties" should i be concerned?
Hi future me, I saved you a big mac under the bed.
I consented to having my finger branded. How was your night?
That man gives me hope. I can't help it. And by "hope" I mean "wood."
Nothing makes the walk of shame as great as disapproval from a mom getting ready for work
I am listening to my ipod while i puke, this is most entertaining hangover i have ever had.
WHAT THE FUCK HAPPENED. WHO CAME HOME WITH ME. WHAT THE FUCK RESPOND ASAP I AM SO CONFUSED
I’m really regretting these suede pants.
Randomize
