Lets go to the mall and pick up some fat chicks and take them out tonight so we can be the skinny friends
Wow, being the totally hot and slutty looking 30 year old lady on the dance floor does NOT necessarily mean that she has skills in bed.
He deserves to hear about your Vagina Shrooms
My glasses smell like tequila. I just put them on and almost threw up.
Like I couldn't describe it to you but if they did a lineup of penises i'd be able to pick it out.
There's sex hanging in the air like a pinata. European people are no joke.
Announcement: Given the sad circumstances regarding the death of my dearest friend Chong the Bong, there will be a brief memorial service for him tomorrow evening at 10:30 at my place. After sharing some memories and sending his spirit off to the great bowl in the sky, we will all take place in the commemoration and maiden voyage of his son, Chong Squared, who eagerly waits to meet all of you. High blessings to you all, piece be with you.
It wasn't until I took a shit, that I remembered that you assholes started spiking my shots with tobasco when I wasn't looking last night. Dicks.
You went down on Rachel in front me last night. Worst. Brother. Ever.
I said geronimo as I came I'm not sure if he appreciated the doctor who reference or was just confused
Was in the middle of a keg stand, the frat guys dropped me, and I broke my nose. My mom didn't enjoy that call from the hospital.
I apparently tried to wax off my nipples.This explains the pain
You peed all over his floor and had a bottle popped in your ass when you passed out. Don't tell me I'm "still living in my college days"
just saw a girl run into an automatic sliding door, back up and try again
I just realized u compared me to a coconut
Randomize
