It's a miracle Ok Typing texts toYou right now
I looooooove Saturdays!!!!!!!
I am absolutely hammered
My body isn't even mad at me...just disappointed
They're sharing a mixed drink at a bar with straws...its like a disney movie with booze
obviously you don't know the college version of myself. if there's something i'm ALWAYS willing to put up for it's alcohol.
About to trim my pubes so if you decide to walk in, viewer discretion is advised.
He pulled his pants down and said blow me, while passing out on my bed. I then pulled his pants up as he continuously started moaning in the background.
I slept with him because his girlfriend should know better than to be with him given is reputation. It was like sex and a lesson all in one.
So it's national ass day?! I love October. No bra last Saturday and now ass day. This is my month. God is dedicating this October to me!
Was she always missing a tooth or am I just now noticing it?
I don't know what part of my sober brain thought it was a good idea to get stoned when I can barely walk with crutches as it is, but that part is stupid.
I should stop using "Braveheart would do it" as a basis for decision making...
It's hard to talk dirty with a mouth full of peanut butter
There were firefighters and a fire truck up the street. I asked what was wrong and their exact words were "Just a tiny explosion; it'll be all right"
You let the ASEXUAL teach sex Ed?!
Come over I need help. I just almost died in an acid flashback while listening to do You Feel Like We Do off of the Frampton Comes Alive album.
Randomize
