In retrospect, pretending to punch a 9 year old girl in the face was a terrible analogy to use in a piano lesson.
I didn't know that people actually queef. Is this a real thing?
I believe so, yes.
Would you be offended if I asked if it has happened to you?
And when I look at him, I just want him to say "I love you" in between deep thrusts and hard grunts.
come home now. i got a twizzler tangled in my hair again
Received world's greatest BJ while in a planetarium. Was seeing stars while seeing stars.
there is potential here for me to have a consistent access to someone's dick who isn't actually an asshole. i think i'm ready for a relationship.
he's my ex-boyfriend's best friend... he tried to make out with me to prevent me from hitting his friend. then they almost fought about it.
teach me your ways.
Something about getting whistled at in my work clothes while crossing the street with three Nuvarings in my back pocket feels wrong.
They want yo temporarily sterile ass.
apparently i tried to facetime the drunk bus last night, that's probably why we had to walk back to campus
Drunk ass.
"Stranger danger aquaman" were the last words i remember. help me.
How the fuck did I get back? Last thing I remember is being on some hot guy's shoulders yelling at girls shaking their asses
We'll talk about it later...
Just saw a couple chasing each other on lawn mowers. Oh South Knoxville.
It is such a beautiful day to not be arrested
Thank you, my gorgeous heroine, for being such a total life-saver by giving me rides, forcing me to eat, providing porous absorbant surfaces to bleed on, and everything else you do <3
Pretty sure he was in my class in like 2nd grade
I like how you know everyone I've ever fellated.
Randomize
