Revelation of the day. Bulimia is dumb. Anorexia is easier.
You suck.
Went to mcdonalds... Wishing I could throw up the last 20 hours of my life.
I need some transition time from spring break.. can we day drink between classes this week?
He also informed us that it's rude to shove your tit in someone's mouth. Happy Monday.
I'm taking a new approach to homewrecking... for science. Or I totally would. I have to see what happens between my ex & his brother when he finds out.
He is just lying there. People are throwing money onto his chest as they walk by...
oh sorry. I thought "boat" was code for "penis"
I mean it was his birthday. How was I supposed to tell him he could not wear a sombrero while we bang.
I told him I wanted to "ride him like a show pony" I think he gets the picture
I have a big to do list for you. Number 1 - me. Number 2 - drink wine 3. Talk my ears off. 4. Me again
I look like i have multiple stab wounds in my foot and there are footprints from the elevator to my room. What happened?
I'm going to have to have a long talk with god if my soul mate has a prince albert
I can't ever look his wife in the eye again. She will see right through my soul to his dick pic.
We could have mediocre awkward sex or mediocre stunted/awkward/uncomfortable banter. The possilities are relatively finite
I really would enjoy sexual intercourse with you.
Most formal booty call EVER
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