Evryone should know as good ramen noodle cooked in beer sounds... its not
i learned of a new sex move called the pterodactyl. 3 guys stand in a row. 1 girl blows the one in the middle while jerking off the other two. kids these days!
Yaeh! Back in our day we had to wait our turn for some party whore to blow us!
well there you go. the average partycunt evolved into megapartycunt just like scientists predicted.
dude you were so wasted last night you ate a sandwich made out of tomatos, cheese, doritos, salt & pepper. Then you heated it in the micro for 5 min to melt the cheese.
My landlord doesn't knock anymore when he shows the apt... So i just had sex in front of a family.
didn't stop?
naw, they were rude, not me.
Don't pass out before midnight like you did last year. See how much your year sucked
trust me, there is no more disappointing feeling in the world than waking up at 4 in the morning with a random half naked chick in your bed and then realizing your roommates girlfriend just wandered into the wrong room.
I'm going to buy you a pony but under one condition: you have to name it sarah jessika parker
someone was throwing condoms at us.
no, they just magically show up around you.
It was relaxing until your penis crawled in my ear.
It's the best! If I had one wish it would be for life to be one really long gay porno. Thats what I wish for during every 11:11.
i really need to shower, but i don't want to take off my bra and lose my cleavage. the struggle
oh man that would be weird.. i feel like we should do dirty things before anything super intimate like a massage.
It's hard not to feel like a terrible person with bruises on your tits.
The reason why I poison my organs is so that you guys can't sell them.
You asked me how red your eyes were... they were shut.
Randomize
