just heard the best thing ever: calling people's kids "fuck trophies"
Just so you know, each of my boobs fits perfectly in a martini glass.
I just peeled a layer of cum off my eyelid. Don't even tell me that's not why you came over
I tried to tell her I've only slept with 3 other people...she then named off 5 of her sorority sisters I fucked and asked me if she should continue
Sounds good! I plan on writing a book entitled: I've Probably Done Cocaine In Your Bathroom. A tell-all by Lauren.
You know he really cares when he gives you one of those on-the-go toothbrushes for your walk of shame before running to work
This amicable friendliness is dull. We either need to start fighting or fucking around. I'll even let you pick.
It was the easiest thing I've ever done. 3am she walked into my room, saw my Buffalo Bills blanket, said go bills and got naked.
OH MY GOD REMEMBER ALL THAT I LOVE NEW YORK I DVRED BECAUSE I JUST DID
Dipping my sugar cookies in a glass of fireball and creme soda. This is holiday spirit
Y’all did coke off my Puff The Magic Dragon plate.😂
You kept licking me last night.... and said I tasted like jello. Next time, lay off the jello shots, okay?
i looked that guy up on facebook. the one who went down on me for two hours
what's the verdict
i've been scrubbing my vag all morning
I fought off a bull with my bare hands while he went off to have sex with her against a wall. I’m more upset about the fact that no one is acknowledging what I did.
Cockblock successful. That's for pouring nacho cheese on my flatscreen, asshole.
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