Picture Ja Rule and 50 Cent having a sexy full grown love child son...He's on my bus right now, wearing an outside jacket with no shirt underneath. My fashion sense and libido are fighting it out.I'll keep you posted on who wins.
my throat hurts so bad i feel like i just gave head to a cactus.
hey dude i know youre in the next room but me and your sister need a condom, got any i could borrow?
I just banged two guys while dressed like an angel. I love this holiday.
you smelled like vodka, i think that's why my grandma liked you
He came in 20 minutes late for his final wearing plastic bags on his feet, and a tablecloth cape. Explain.
Yeah you insisted everyone watch Space Jam at 2 in the morning then you cried the whole way through it. You were the very worst kind of drunk.
Just the amount of girls he locked himself in my room woth says your gonna have to take a cab bro. I don't think he's going anywhere
Apparently getting dressed is an all-day activity.
Have you SEEN his girlfriend?? Or talked to her? Christ almighty I'd drink every day just to die let alone black out
That awful moment when there is no more beer and you find yourself considering tequila and aloe juice.
He said the pain stops when I get my shit together and stop being a drugged out alcoholic mess. Could have just said no.
Pretty sure I was impersonating Rihanna when I kept asking him what my name was while we were making out
Another development in my life...I think I pulled a muscle in my neck from vomiting this weekend.
He sent me a dick pic, and it had smeared lipstick on it. So I sent him the pic of my tit with the hickey ring your brother gave me.
Randomize
