So what's the moral of this story? Aside from 'lesbians hold grudges'?
i love beer. I convinced myself that I'm going to ace the exam tomorrow. I can't even do that when I actually study.
He nailed 50 frozen hamburgers to the ceiling last night. Now there are flies every where.
If you can't accept "I'm sorry I was mean to you" bjs from 19 year old girls, then who can you
Well if all fails we can always become surrogate mothers. I hear that pays well.
Repeat. Dildo on the ceiling, confiscated potato shooter, and bottle of yegger. Repeat. Ceiling dildo and yegger.
Dress was in bathroom covered in shards of glass, earrings on living room floor, bracelet still missing, purse in backyard. The cast of Princess Bride all left the bar to make sure I was ok. Perfect night
Out of all the things you could eat off of my tits you choose lettuce? Thats so healthy. Yuck.
It's gonna be like a sexual version of A Christmas Carol in my house in a few days.
When your grandma invites you to a sweet girls' Valentine's dinner with your mom and sister, but you have to decline because you're trying to get two dudes to rail you at once...
I seriously feel like I just crawled out from under a shit covered rock. I'm NEVER drinking like that again...well, not for alteast a solid 3 hours.
this vacation is helping with my sexual bucket list so much. threesome, deaf guy, and outdoor sex all accomplished.
A massage should never include spaghetti sauce. shit was fucked up
4 of us. Guys and girls. Were sitting there discussing the passed out half naked Brit girl on the floor. She is no longer the international woman of mystery.
The smell of pee and coconut conditioner still makes me think of him
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