why is jon gosselin on the news 24/7 for dating some new lady?? how bout I get on msnbc for not getting laid since forever ago
I have now ridden the bus with a ninja, a samurai and Jesus. Who says the bus is for losers.
Your sister got a Brazilian yesterday. It looks great
Good luck! Who knows he might be a stallion in the bedroom! or it could be like having sex with a crayon.
She got her phone back last night. And the first thing I sent her was a picture of me pooping in a culvers bathroom
Everything smells like syrup. But I guess that's better than last time when everything smelled like beer.
he's doing fine. just headbutted the wall and threw up
No, no... it's pale and surrounded by awkward, curly, red hair. It's the Ronald McDonald of penises.
Fuck romance. Just shaved my nipples in the shower because I felt like it. That's the life I'm about.
i feel like spreading the word of drunken joy.
I think I heard my penis growl. Wanna do lunch?
Sooooooo Your wife and your girlfriend are making cat noises at one another via text
Hey the moment you step into my house, find me IMMEDIATELY so we can pinky promise on not roping anyone at the party into yet another threesome
You know youre getting old when you I.D. the person trying to take you home to be sure they're over 25. Help me.
Yea I went out in footie pajamas and still got laid. Good night for u?
Randomize
