By the end of the second bowl I was making sound effects to every hand movement he made.
Psycho is an understatement. U were running around the house screaming IM UNDER THE IMPERIOUS CURSE
in the practice room. just found 3 bottles of smirnoff hidden inside the piano. SO glad i didn't get into berklee...
...so how do you feel about living with a lesbian next year?
hhaha i just laughed out loud when i read that
is that a "i laughed because im fine with it" or "im a republican" ?
My niece just threw up all over me. My sister's breastmilk was on my face. This is like a fucked-up porno gone terribly wrong.
just bailed mom out of jail. Tell me i'm not the favorite child
the fda needs to get their shit together cause these four loko going away parties are gonna kill me
You would be too ashamed to ever love me again if you saw the filth I just created. It brings unspeakable dishonor to the nacho dynasty. Like I raped the king's daughter, cut off her hands and made him eat them that's how hard I fucked up nachos.
AND FUCKING MGMT JUST CAME ON. CAN I GO DROWN MYSELF IN LESBIANS OR SOMETHING? IS IT TIME TO LESBIAN
we're fated to lesbian
Oh my fucking god how fucking embarrassing never again will I mix drugs at a family barbecue
So last night was the first of "I got cut off before I walked in the bar".
Just drink your champagne out of a trophy like a fuckin winner
Chasing down vodka with apple juice and crying. Alone.
Fuuuuuck dude, he’s got #Excel in his Facebook bio; I’m screaming
I definitely almost just pulled a condom out of my purse instead of money for my dad.
Randomize