3:38a: you guys up to anything right now?
you always know who the new freshman are on fb because theyre always wearing prom dresses
apparently i started the naked brigade. and depantsed everyone who wasn't naked. her parents must hate me.
There's a vagina buried somewhere in there.
I want to poop on a bird, just to show them what it's like.
worse things have happened to me. but if it will make you feel better you can pay for my therapist sessions next week.
The hot Japanese girl in my class just said her "favorite sexy American actor is Nick Cage." That, I can work with.
i mean, some people chug beer and some people chug hard liquor. some people have good ideas and some people have bad ideas. it's all about perspective.
she's throwing a head of lettuce everywhere shouting HEADS UP and trying to get us to play catch with her. i'm scared.
I'll call it a tollerance break and either will be celebrating my new job with a bowl or will be smoking my sadness away from not getting the job. Either way.
he's a ginger AND was born with 2 holes in his penis. sleeping with a rare species & I LOVE THE THRILL
You came out of your room naked under your open robe with a mouth full of brownie on a stick and grabbed a fistful of fruit loops and shoved them into your already full mouth.
Maybe because you rubbed my clit while we were making churros
Shower wine is way better than shower beer.
If you fuck up my birthday by dying I will kick your fucking corpse.
Randomize
