my mouth tastes like poor choices
she says her boyfriend and her dignity are both out of town tonight
All was going smooth until he pulled a condom out of his collection he kept in a Cheesy Gordita Crunch Box from Taco Bell.
I woke up wearing nothing but 7 partially eaten candy necklaces. Only one was around my neck. Don't even try to tell me I don't need plan B.
She was drinking straight whiskey out of her peacock shaped vase again.
You had your dick do your apologizing for you last night. Apology accepted.
I will never understand why the dress to get laid party is always scheduled to be during family weekend. Its not even ironically funny.
Obviously he considers you not fucking him as fucking up. Thus making him fuck up. Based on this I believe he should be disqualified from the race to your vagina.
After you threw up you would repeatedly say "napkin" like a siren until somebody got you a fucking napkin.
it is a dangerous dangerous place where morals and dignity go to die and all your fantasies about men become reality.
I'm attracted to him because he looks like the kind of guy who would lick my asshole without me having to ask.
Then while I was crying on his shoulder, he got a boner. Soo. I kinda just hopped on.
He was telling me how he was trying to grow up. And then 2 minutes later, he told me he was tripping on lsd for the first time.
I just made mac at 3:10 am... My life is falling apart...
Mom just walked in on a bj. IT'S WHATEVER.
Randomize
