return my video game
then they high fived as they party boyed me. I was a policewoman sandwhich. I love you halloween.
10 dollar pizza all the toppings you want. Wait Until You See This Pizza
she just announced that once she was paid to deep throat a light saber with a mint flavored condom on it. i'm speechless.
The only thing the cop asked me is..... "how are you still alive"?
I'm covered in sharpie and the girl next to me just said something smells like fried food. Hint: it's me. Why am I in class?
Let's go one conversation without mentioning cats or alcohol someday.
He just pulled out my weave during sex....needless to say I'm embarrassed and in need of another shot pronto
First night in my new apartment and I threw up in front of my neighbors door. Starting off this relationship strong.
Here's a concept though: eating pasta while getting laid
Well, the night started out with you ALMOST falling out of a tree. Then we went back to the tree after about 9 shots and you DID fall out of the tree.
I'm sitting here with a band aid on my labia, this is a first
some kid just came up 2 me bleeding yelling "thats how u riot"
I have a hunchback of notre dame journal from when I was 6 wherein sits a diary entry that reads "saw liar liar today. Carrey's best yet" and that's all.
If I die bedazzle my coffin please.
Randomize
