we used that portable toilet as a cooler to keep coronas. next person who tells me hospitals arn't fun needs to come party in rm 180.
You put a thong on my pumpkin didn't you.
Having sex with her is like doing taxes, Happens once a year and I usually end up paying.
I should do something nice for her. Like sign her up for "What Not To Wear."
He knows as soon as he hits chameleon eye status drunk, he is guaranteed to piss the bed we NEED to push him there
Yea. You cant just squeeze my balls. They are sensitive
I'm covered in sharpie and the girl next to me just said something smells like fried food. Hint: it's me. Why am I in class?
theres chocolate ground into my couch, nerds candy all over the floor and cocaine on every surface. great memorial day weekend and yours?
I enjoy it and I rock at it. I wish there were a respectable way to make giving blow jobs a career.
I want my birthday to be like the hunger games where all the contenders for my vaj have to fight each other off to win the prize
Can I have the second place winner?
I only want to come over for sex and blueberry pancakes
Should I go bust a nut on the beach
I'm going to become fluent in fucking Belgian boys
Her tits are so fantastic they gave him a panic attack.
Ok, there are marshmallows shaped like elephants
Randomize
