I had a dream last night that we were eating cake at Mercy...hahaha. I'm furious I didn't see you.
I dont wanna date her. I just wanna be able to run a blacklight over her face and prove ownership.
You brought back some girl with you at 3am and introduced her to everyone as "hot pocket"
According to the transitive property, he has now had dick in his mouth.
Are you still giving blowjobs?
Who is this?
i had to write a bad check to buy franzia last weekend. i have my priorities in line.
we smoked out of your homemade aunt jamima bong
I had sex with her like 200 times, and she was only pregnant once, those are pretty good statistics.
He's the kind you'd bring home and you'd wake up and all your food would be half eaten on the kitchen floor and all your socks would be missing.
just had Stella and stale goldfish for breakfast under the watchful eyes of an inflatable cactus and 5 llama pinatas. Cinco de mayo success!
What about.....a game of twister and....wait..nevermind. I've hit my cap for sexualizing things today.
I mean there is a rehab there so its gotta be a good time
Is it against health code to come into work half drunk and commando?
I've seen too many dicks in the past week. I can't do it anymore.
you went over there?
His drunk texts were grammatically perfect. At least our kids will be smart.
Randomize
