he borrowed my computer and saw his name in my recent google searches. Things got awkward real fast.
You went to church with your boobs hanging out?
Theyr'e a gift from god, I figured I should show him i'm using them well.
Night out in new white coat = success. Offered free breast exams all night, two took me up on it, woke up with one. I love medical school!!!
I think im drinking tonight later on...which is good cuz i walked pass the liquor aisle the other day and i swear i heard a kid call me a pussy
Can I bring home a duck? Dead serious
I love THIS fish, the rest of the ocean can go fuck itself. I am ahab and he is my whale
Walked back to my room from the bus last night and all I see is 3 of my friends on the porch chugging whiskey and then throwing up in unison
We started pregaming at 8. It's 11, and her only 11:11 wish is to be sober. It's hard to not love her.
I just asked her to come in through the window, this pretty much solidifies the whole fuck-buddy thing...
TGIFridays...stall number 1...drunk...send help
A 74 year old man offered to let me sleep on his pull out couch last night.
So this is completely apropos of nothing, but I have a feeling that a friend of mine might be a good match for you. Can I set you two up on a date? Oh, and it seems that we live a block away from each other and aren't having sexy times. This is ridiculous. By the way, there's a chance that I might be a tad drunk. Still though, there's a very *good* chance that you and Mr. X would get along.
Update. A gay dude just told me I'm the most beautiful thing with a vagina he as ever seen. How should I feel about this?
Come on, will you just fuck him so we can watch Star Wars.
why do guys have to express their feelings when they know your seeing someone else ? I fucked him anyways to make him feel better , and to know what he's missing.
Randomize
