she said it was ok for her to take her top off in the hot tub but she didn't take off her bottoms because that would be slutty
Theres a dude at this concert at the urinal double fisting beers, taking drinks from both while simultaneously pissing euerywhere. He is my hero
Sorry about last night..I didnt realize how drunk you were and when I closed the door it caused you to slam into the mirror...you'll probably piece together the puzzle when you read this and see your hand.
bailing my boss out of jail is a great way to spend memorial day
After three games of beer pong ending in victory by death cup, all four of us bonded in the fact that we all slept with the girl's boyfriend at some point in time in the past year. She had no idea.
I CAN CONTROL MY GERBIL WITH MY BREATH. HE FOLLOWS THE SMELL. PROBABLY WOULDNT BE AS EXCITING IF I WASNT HIGH OFF MY ASS, BUT STILL
I believe I can fly has to be one of the most inspirational songs of our time. Seriously R. Kelly nailed it
Then he went and peed on those teenagers.
Well. I went to a frat party where they mixed gin and Mountain Dew. My kingdom for some olives and vermouth.
He somehow pantsed the bouncer and tipped him over before cartwheeling and skipping away? Help me find him.
i am laugh crying so hard the guy next door stopped playing guitar
WOKE UP NEXT TO A PLATE OF MEATBALLS HAPPY MONDAY
The impact your presence has on my vagina without even putting your hands on me is quite astonishing, impressive and a little disturbing.
I've fucked him twice and literally had no idea that he's missing a thumb
I never realized the effects a broken spine would have on my sex life
She is carving a little coffin out of some wood for her hamster that died. I'm flying home tonight.
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