To think... Somewhere, too drunk by buckcherry is someone's theme song
Now he's lighting his socks on fire
After throwing up in a tequila bottle on my nightstand (still not sure how she did that) she asked if she could slip into something more comfortable.
Have you ever chugged beers in the hospital parking garage with your mom?
Taking a shit on the side of the road is not how I imagined this morning would start.
I'm covered in European cum. How's your day going?
Hooked up to multiple episodes of Even Stevens last night. What the fuck.
It's a 'fuck poison control' kind of night.
hey if you're going to the hospital do you wanna pick me up a taco on your way back
And when I feel bad about myself I go to the library and suck my pen over an open book, counting the seconds until a guy sits across from me and tries to get my attention
You'd be proud. Took my birth control today at 12:30 with a Budweiser. Guy across the bar saw and held his bottle up to salute me 😂
It's not even 8pm on a Friday and I've already got a guy to tell me how big his penis is. Watched anything good on Netflix lately?
I really wanna treat my body good. Because i plan on doing drugs
Was last night real life? Like did you really light your hair on fire
It’s the biggest dick I’ve ever seen. His IQ drops 25 points when he’s hard because there’s no blood going to his brain
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