id fuck shawn from boy meets world only if we could name the baby topanga.
You need to find a way to go down on me and lick my toes at the same time
I'll google it
What are the signs of a concussion? Please don't freak out.
It hurts to peel the glue off my chest and i keep finding glitter in my hair.
I just wanted to decorate you...
Why is your name written on my hand surrounded by hearts and a bartenders phone number?
It took him 5 seconds to cum and then he wanted to hold my hand all night
Well that's the second time I've broken a lamp during sex this month. Starting to worry I'm some kind of X-man. (this one was a wall sconce and I fully smashed it with my head and it crumbled like it was made of sugar)
The two of us decided to throw a spur-of-the-moment parade and the next thing I know we're 4 miles down the road being followed by 65 drunk strangers
Literally this kid just told me he's not planning to live past 30. Then he hit himself with a frying pan.
you didnt realize it, but you puked in the bushes in front of a church and yelled "GOD IS DEAD"
All I know is that I have a black eye and an extra $200 in my wallet. Other than that, clueless.
I'm fine w planning around your penis prospecting. Saturday it is.
Correction: *I* watched JoJo's Bizarre adventure while he snored asleep on me cock still fully inside me.
nothing like a long car ride to make you think of all the bad things you've done
Just bought 2 liters of wine and frozen waffles for dinner. Is this 30?
Randomize
