So I had sex with him again. He's still got it. Not chlamydia, he got rid of that.
he was wearing 3D glasses the whole time.
the only plus side is that now I'll be able to tell my son not to trust the condoms that his college gives away..........
You know you had good weekend wheb we you hook up with three different girls and you don't feel no pain when u pee in the morning
looking back it was a good thing we were too wasted to fire up the chainsaw
I was rolling balls and tried to donate blood as an act of kindness to the sick person who would receive it
I'm going to need your assistance. I cannot walk back to the house in a bear costume.
My birthday was already very memorable but her punching me in the face put it over the top. I love being 25 and still not giving a fuck.
The highlight of your blackout was when you drunk showered with the garden hose and emailed your boss your vacation requests for the next year.
sorry bout that man. went out to pay the pizza boy, ended up hooking up with some random drunk girl that thought i was someone else
I don't remember much but I think I'm wearing your underwear, and for that, I am extremely grateful.
If I die young bury me in satin. And make sure there's a taco bar at my funeral.
After fooling around at the hotel til dawn, I managed to feed her with my free buffet passes. Tastes like sweet victory.
when I was walking home I wad so excited to see a cat on the sidewalk but it was really a traffic cone
i'd like to schedule a penis for 4pm please.
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