There's a technique?! I just slide my tongue around
playing new game: drink everytime u see someone at the beach with a tramp stamp, double if u guess it before u see it, triple for male tramp stamps
warning: blackouts possible when playing in ocean city or anywhere in new jersey
remember that night we drank a bottle of vodka and went to mcdonalds and ordered everything on the dollar menu, twice?
we can't do that now- first b/c they got rid of that menu and 2 b/c we are broke now. damn this recession.
if I'm ever single again, I swear to god I'm going to have 87 venerial diseases
There is no point in being painfully greyhound thin if you are then going to dress like it's raining in 1992.
i am pregamming alone in my car. scale of 1-10 how alcoholic is that
im pretty sure thats an 11
i just made my gag reflex go away.
He won't stop licking me..... im choosing your date next time.
I guess I've just seen a lot of penises since then
Yeah then she waddled like a duck in silence sat down and ate the entire paper towel roll.
In the 2nd smartest move of my day your ringtone for when you call is now the Space Jam theme.
Nothing says "First Single Holidays" quite like getting baked with the guy that took your virginity four years ago.
I just ate the lyft drivers bacon cheeseburger. Well fuck me this night escalated quickly.
Dude on a beach in sicily and a blonde jesus just smoked us out and then tried to makeout with me I am never leaving this place
Would the comment "Down Goes Frasier" be too inappropriate at this time?
Randomize
