Yea, forget your mom. She will be home after her one night stand.
it was a mass text i'm sorry
do you usually send 'hey sexy' as a mass text?
First night home from college and I already forgot that walking around nearly naked with my laptop open to smut porn isn't acceptable. Sorry, mom.
Don't threaten to terrorize my ass hole unless you have to wherewithal to back it up
i'm sorry, but my penis isnt the solution to your problems
thats the coolest thing thats happened to my vagina since i dated that guy from portugal.
Ethically speaking on a scale from 1 to morally wrong, how wrong would it be to give babies ambien? Hypothetically speaking.
thank god we only have to drink eggnog and rum once a year. It taste like shit.
Drinking Hot Toddies on the Porch and blasting bob dylans "hurricane" bring it on sandy!
...I can smell the alcohol on your breath through that text
I think i was just meant to be a stripper. A ballerina stripper cat
Lets just say...I plan on being a bigger shitshow than Miley Cyrus at the VMA'S
Question: have you ever spent your Tuesday evening helping your one-night-stand create a resume? Because I have...
He started humming a moment like this when I was taking off his pants.
sarah's view on last night: a threesome to make things less awkward. oh, well done.
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