Where are I am going home with Ryan
I don't know who this or Ryan is but it is probably too late to talk you out of it
Ramen noodles and uncensored jerry springer episodes, what a nice life i have.
when we were having sex and i started crying and telling you i missed you..why couldnt you stop and tell me how you felt or make me feel better?you kept going...
I'm so hungover that the internet is hard.
I woke on the floor next to a big TV. Apparently I traded my bed for a 52 inch samsung and a box of pop tarts.
It would be celebrated in history as "the orgasm heard round the world"
I feel like I got run over by a bus full of inebriated Scotsmen on the way to a soccer riot.
I went limp when I heard her mom fart from her parents bedroom. It lasted longer than my hard on.
Send me another check for the tickets. I scratched out "anal wax" and now the bank won't take it.
I felt like the hulk waking up from a black out except with munchies
I gave him head while despicable me 2 played in the background. I think I disappointed the minions
LIKE ALL I WANT TO CURE MY HANGOVER IS PORKROLL AND LIKE 85% OF THIS COUNTRY DOESN'T KNOW WHAT IT IS
so i just met a former male stripper who has a lion king tattoo. new BFF? i think yes
I got home and he was wearing a suit. He said he reason was because it was shirt and tie Saturday and that he won't change until midnight. He then proceeded to answer the door in a British accent.
Last night was fun. Sorry I slipped out before you woke up
Also, your parents get up REALLY early. Please thank them for the bagel and travel mug of coffee. Happy Thanksgiving!
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