that's fine. btw we still need $500 for the donkey...
my mom walked in on me smoking weed alone, listening to the eagles, and just staring at the river. she totally knew.
Well, I guess this was as good a night as any to find out I don't know how to use my fire extinguisher.
you spent the night getting lap dances from a stripper with a c-section scar then ended up at a one room casino by the airport and you say you're too good to blaze and see pirahna 3d? bullshit
I made him ride the giant pony statue in my friends little sisters room before i let him get in the bed.
They just kept handing me shots and saying welcome to college
I dunno... But she calls vodka "dancing juice"
There are flashing lights and a man dressed as Santa with a bullhorn in my cul de sac.
I'm not sure if this is awesome or scary.
Puked in the trees at home depot, I told everyone it was fertilizeerr
I walked by the two of them and mouthed "fuck me" based on there reaction I think they just came in their pants
so it turns out the huge bruises on my knees are from drunk bmxing and not getting railed from behind on the ground
and ill have you know that I only wiped out twice
If I am telling you about the details of the shits I take I probably don't want to have sex with you. Probably.
He was feeling me up but acting like he was asleep. Like WTF does that mean??
She couldn't understand why my walking in on her 70 year old parents ruined any chance of a boner for at least an hour. I think she's too slow for me to fornicate with.
wtf guys I thought we agreed on no more knives. So much for not destroying the house
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