i don't know her name but she is cooking me brkfst then helpin me find my car.
she hot?
i don't wanna talk about it
I got to watch him fuck me from behind in the reflection of an ornament. so glad I decorated.
I think his glow in the dark Star Wars sheets, at the time, really turned me on.
I wish his dick was as long as his hair.
There's a big bag of salt and vinegar chips and a Budweiser for when you wake up. Don't say I never did anything for you.
I have no idea what's going on.... I just want to wear my horse sweatshirt and drink vodka.
Ugh I miss culture and lesbians already
Having my alarm go off at 3:30 makes me wanna rip my dick off and shove it through my eye socket
Woke up naked on a bed full of money, doughnuts, and keys that weren't mine. Unsent dick pick on phone, and cheap cigar butt on my pillow. Also...I maybe hotwired my car.
I'm sitting in the breakroom facing a very large sign that says "inappropriate workplace behaviors", and i can't help but feel like it is directed at me
Why did I see a weird snapchat of you barking at McDonald's last night?
I'm asking you this because you're my dad....is coke a drug I should try?
He's gonna fuck me, then his girlfriend is going to come over and fuck me in front of him. And they're smoking me out. Happy birthday to ME
You're going to literally shit your fucking unholy pants when Jesus rides in with his dual light-sabers on his velociraptor and cleaves you in half.
Never go to your parents' super bowl party. I learned, in great detail, "Why Aunt Trisha is a hoe" Not enough beer on the eastern seaboard.
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