i don't know her name but she is cooking me brkfst then helpin me find my car.
she hot?
i don't wanna talk about it
can you sing with all the voices of the mountain? can you paint with al the colors of the windddd
wasted?
im pocohantasssss
people would bow to what i just did to her vagina
eric is really sick so I'm taking care of him! :(
just blow him with soup in your mouth.
I swear a good massage is the easiest way in my pants.
Not that there's a hard way... but you know what I mean.
as they left, you opened the door, dropped your pants then yelled "don't leave, this is what you're missing"
you have no chance. her best friend is a human abstinence poster.
Your headphones are on the door knob and I left you a burger on the door step.
no, but he did start crying. who the fuck is 30, covered in tattoos and crys about an ex? get your shit together, man.
Well my grandma put the turkey in the oven for 4 hours and didn't have the oven on.
Found the cure to anxiety attacks.
An orgasm
I was just wicked nice to a telemarketer... that's how stoned this woman got me.
you know that australian accents are like the bat signal to my vagina
Dude, my back STILL hurts from carrying the team on BP last night.
I gotta do like a month's worth of catch-up personal hygiene today in prep for Christmas so extended family doesn't ask if I'm depressed.
Randomize
