i think the cat found all the blow we lost...
The dentist just giggled when he accidentally shot water across my face, I can sense how he treats women.
He just made a mudslide using rubinoff and swiss miss packets. This can't end well....
So the chick throws up over the rail from the 15th floor at the sky bar and I knew I would take her back to my hotel.
its sad im about to start saving up for how drunk i need to be for the holidays
It was pretty bad. Like cum-on-my-face-while-singing-Let-It-Snow bad.
I whispered "you're doing a great Job" when he was fucking me. Then high fived him.
Doors open. I'm laying in bed watching caddy shack and drinking a vodka tonic.
And I'm out of vodka so bring vodka or 2013 will blow ass
I SMOKED SO MUCH I SKIPPED A DAY.
Well the term Party is used loosely in this situation. Since it will just be mom wine drunk and us eating chips with multiple dips.
So I ate half a jar of mayo because I thought it would cure a hangover. I thought wrong.
Had to lock my cat in the bathroom so I could masturbate in peace.
I opened the door, threw up on the street, wiped my mouth and flashed a thumbs up to all of the cars behind us and kept on driving
How do you teach a grown ass men how to fuck? Why is good sex so hard to find these days?
i ran into the Jo the housecleaner earlier this morning. i mentioned i had a little hangover and she asked what the occasion was.. i replied "Tuesday" without thinking. she judged the shit out of me.
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