The midget we rented got so drunk last night he got carted off in an ambulance
It was an awkward 3some. I took her from behind while he just made out with her.
Sorry about bonging beers with your mom but in all fairness you were late...
handjobs have no place on a baseball diamond
I'm not sure what happened last night but I woke up next to him and I was wearing nothing but my grandpa's diabetic socks, so I'm letting that fill in the blanks.
dude he passed out in the strip club on his birthday, WHILE he was getting a lap dance. That drunk.
You did that scary laugh you always do when you're blacking out except she's never heard it before and though you were choking and screamed at all of us when we didn't call an ambulance
I'm pretty sure at any given moment you could wring out my liver and get a couple of shots of jäger.
Wanna smoke some ancient weed I just found in a box of cake mix?
I just passed a kid trying to leave on a lawn mower
He fingered me to the beat of the Fresh Prince theme song... it was pretty fantastic.
Well, I can't remember Thursday and my left ass cheek hurts like hell, I'm guessing Mike's bachelor party was a success.
Tbh you just need to fuck it out like I don't know another solution
Is it wrong to want to have sex with one guy who's good in bed before going out on a date with a guy I actually like?
Still had our rainbow strip poker new years tradition. End of night we were only wearing mask.
Did you get the usual surprise pics from the strange straight you like to sprinkle in.
Randomize
